How to Start Carrying as a Woman

What Nobody Tells You First

“Can they see anything?”

“What if I didn’t wear the right shirt?”

“Is this even safe?”

These were all thoughts running through my head the first time I tried to conceal carry, and I wasn’t even carrying a firearm yet! It was just the holster. I was testing my wardrobe and getting used to the feeling of something on my body… and it was still uncomfortable.

What made it more frustrating is that I wasn’t new to firearms. I had been shooting recreationally since high school and started competition shooting earlier that year. I was comfortable at the range and I trusted myself with a firearm, but carrying one on my body in everyday life felt completely different.

When I finally did start carrying, those thoughts continued. It took time to trust my setup and figure out what actually worked for me. Now, many years later, I have confidence and trust in my setup. I’ve learned how to dress around my firearm while still keeping my personal style, and I continue to learn and develop my systems as a woman that carries daily.

Beginning this journey is a process, and it's one that looks different for women.

You may receive well-intentioned advice such as “get the largest firearm you can conceal…”, “just wear bigger and baggier clothes…”, and “get a small firearm.” The reality is that this is outdated thinking and doesn’t actually help us feel confident in our decision to start carrying a firearm.

I’m offering a different approach. Not a gear guide or someone telling you you have to carry a certain way, but a real process for how to start concealed carrying as a woman. So let’s start this journey together.

Before You Buy Anything…

State Laws and Permits

Be proud of your decision to carry. Before you do anything else, take the time to understand your state’s carry laws and regulations.

Laws can vary widely depending on where you live. Some states require a permit to concealed carry, while others are constitutional carry states, meaning you can legally carry without one. It’s your responsibility to know what applies to you. A good place to start is US Concealed Carry’s CCW Reciprocity Map, check that out here.

Regardless of whether your state requires a permit, I’d encourage you to look into a concealed carry permit course at your local range. These courses help you better understand the legal side of carrying and what responsible ownership looks like. Having a permit can also make it easier to travel across state lines, depending on the reciprocity laws in the states where you plan to venture.

Training first, gear second

While choosing a firearm and related gear can be one of the more exciting parts of the process, it’s important to focus on training and building confidence first. We don’t always know how we’ll react under stress. While there’s no way to fully replicate a real self-defense scenario, we can train and build repetition we can rely on when it matters.

Explore the basic pistol courses at your local range or consider private lessons. These can provide a strong foundation in shooting fundamentals while helping you develop your personal shooting style.

By training before buying a firearm you’ll learn what actually works for you. The last thing you want to do is invest in a firearm you don’t enjoy shooting. If you don’t want to shoot it, you likely won’t train, and if you don’t train you won’t build confidence. Many ranges allow you to rent and test a variety of firearms, and instructors are often available to help guide you towards what fits you best.

The most important thing to remember throughout this process is that carrying is a responsibility, not an accessory. That responsibility includes safe handling, consistent training, and building confidence in your abilities. Take advantage of the resources around you. The number of women in the firearms community is growing, and many ranges now have female instructors and women-only courses. There are also independent female instructors who host classes specifically designed to help women feel confident and capable when exercising their rights.

It can be tempting to jump right into buying a firearm and gear, but taking the time to understand your state’s laws and investing in training will set you up for long-term success. With that foundation, you’ll be in a great position to choose what’s right for you.

Choosing Your First Carry Firearm

Choosing the right size

Now the fun part - choosing your first carry firearm! This is where the advice starts rolling in; sometimes helpful, sometimes not, and it's almost always confusing.

The most common thing I heard was “Get the largest firearm you can still conceal.” This advice is likely based on the premise that larger firearms are typically easier to shoot because their mass may better absorb recoil. I followed that advice, and within a few months I sold that firearm. Not because it was bad, but because it wasn’t right for me.

My first carry gun was the Glock 48. It’s a great firearm, and a lot of women I know carry and train with it successfully. But I chose it based on general advice instead of figuring out what actually worked for my body. Concealment isn’t just about the size of the firearm, it’s about the size that fits you.

The Glock 48 is relatively lightweight and comfortable to wear, which is important when concealed carrying. I ran into problems with the barrel length and grip size. I have a shorter torso, and the longer (4.17”) barrel just didn’t sit naturally on my body. The grip length also tended to print against my hips. I found myself constantly adjusting and checking to make sure I was still concealed, and this became frustrating.

Eventually, I made the switch to the Sig 365X. Its shorter barrel and grip were better fits for my body. I also worked with it to be sure it was still comfortable to shoot. It checked all the boxes for me, and I’m still carrying it to this day.The takeaway here is choose what “fits” you and is something that you’ll want to carry and train with.

Start with something you enjoy shooting, then pay attention to how it fits your body.

At the end of the day, there is no one-size-fits-all answer. The right choice is the one that fits your body, feels good to shoot, and is something you’ll actually carry consistently.

Best Small Handgun for Women: Five Contenders Put to the Test

9mm? .380?

Now that we’ve gone over choosing a firearm that fits your frame, let’s talk about caliber. There’s a lot of noise around calibers, especially when it comes to women and what you “should” carry. The best choice for you isn’t about what someone else prefers, it’s about what you like, what you’ll train with consistently, and what you’ll carry confidently.

Let’s start with what is likely the most common caliber to carry: 9mm Luger. Almost all of the shooters that I’ve trained, both new and experienced, find the recoil to be quite manageable. With the right bullet, it offers enough stopping capability while still being comfortable to shoot. Larger calibers like .40 cal and .45 ACP offer more power, but some may find them to be less comfortable to shoot and train with. Overall, 9mm tends to be a solid middle-ground option providing good performance without being overly difficult to handle.

Another popular round for concealed carry is .380, and this is where advice, especially for women, can get split. A lot of what you’ll hear about .380 is outdated or based on personal bias, so it’s worth breaking it down so you can decide what’s right for you.

Some people will say you shouldn’t carry .380, usually because “it doesn’t have the same stopping power as 9mm.” While 9mm is generally more powerful, that doesn’t automatically make .380 a bad choice. Again, with the right bullet, it is an effective round. If you enjoy shooting it, then you are more likely to train with it.

Women can also be steered toward .380 because the firearms tend to be smaller and easier to conceal, and because of the assumption that women can’t handle the recoil of 9mm. While .380 can be more comfortable to shoot, that assumption supports misguided stereotypes about women’s strength. It also suggests that smaller firearms are always better for women. Depending on your size, shape, experiences, and preferences, that may not be true.

The bottom line is that for concealed carry, the caliber debate matters less than we think. What actually matters is whether you can shoot it well, train with it consistently, and feel comfortable and confident carrying it. Everything else is just noise.

How You’ll Actually Carry

Positions

Once you’ve decided on a firearm and built confidence in your shooting ability, it’s time to learn how you’ll actually carry.

Let’s start with one of the most common primary carry options, AIWB (appendix inside the waistband). This means carrying inside your waistband, typically around the 10 o’clock to 2 o’clock position at the front of your waist. Carrying in this position can provide good concealment depending on your firearm and clothing. It’s also easy to access and offers flexibility for slight position adjustments to find what works best for your body. I personally carry in this position more than any other. It offers me flexibility with my wardrobe and I feel confident in my concealment and skills.

Other concealment positions include back carry and ankle carry. Depending on your outfit, these can be easier to conceal.They typically come with limitations for newer carriers. Ankle carry can work well if you’re wearing a tighter or shorter top that might otherwise reveal your firearm. Loose pants or longer skirts and dresses can also help with concealment, but accessing your firearm would likely take longer. Back carry can also offer good concealment and is easy to cover with a sweater or jacket, giving you more flexibility with tops. As with ankle carry, it can mean mean slower and more complex access to your firearm. Yes, this can be trained, but for newer shooters and carriers, it is an additional burden.

Bra carry may be another option. Some holsters are designed to attach to your bra, offering a concealed solution for certain outfits. However, they typically only work with structured bras (not sports bras or wireless styles), and may be less effective for smaller-busted women. Still, many women find success with this method, and it can be a good alternative if other positions don’t work for you.

The final option we’ll cover is off-body carry. This means the firearm is carried in a bag like a purse, backpack, or fanny pack. While this can make concealment easier and give you more freedom in what you wear, it also comes with added responsibility. Off-body carry can complicate and slow down accessing your firearm, and increase the risk of unauthorized access or theft.

Still, off-body carry isn’t inherently bad. It just requires more training and improved situational awareness. If you choose this method, never leave your bag unattended. Look for a bag with a dedicated carry compartment, and always keep your firearm secured in a structured kydex-style holster that fully covers the trigger. Simply placing a firearm loose in a bag will inevitably lead to a negligent discharge.

One generally safer off-body option that is gaining popularity is fanny pack carry. This typically involves a structured holster secured inside a dedicated carry fanny pack secured with Velcro or clips. Since fanny packs are worn attached around your body, it is generally more secure than a purse or backpack. I use fanny pack carry often, especially when running or wearing athletic clothing. Like any method, it’s important to train an effective, safe, and confident draw.

Expect some trial and error. What works best for you depends on your confidence, your body, and your clothing style. Take the time to find what works for you and make sure you can trust your ability to safely and confidently draw from whatever position you choose.

Concealed Carry Corner: Popular Alternative Carry Methods

Holster Essentials

When it comes to holsters, there are lots of opinions and it can be difficult to know where to start.

Generally, a high-quality structured Kydex-style holster that fully covers the trigger, and has proper retention, is your safest option. Minimize negligent discharge risks by avoiding unstructured fabric holsters. These designs do not properly secure the trigger. Also avoid any holsters that allow loose objects to fall into the trigger housing. It may be tempting to go with the cheap option, but at what cost? Never compromise on safety.

Buying Holsters for Dummies: A Guide to Choosing a Proper Holster

Making It Work With Your Clothes

When it comes to dressing around your firearm, the key is being intentional. You don’t need a new wardrobe or bigger clothes. Instead, you need to dress with purpose and learn how your style works with concealment. Some basic techniques include structured waistbands, looser tops, and darker colors and patterns to reduce printing. A simple pair of jeans, a belt, and a basic blouse or t-shirt is a good outfit for easy concealment. If you don’t typically wear belts, like me, there are alternatives. 

A Comfort Concealment band is a velcro strap worn inside your jeans or higher up on your torso under your shirt that your holster clips to. It is a great alternative to a traditional belt. An Ulticlip is another useful accessory. It allows you to clip your holster directly to your pants or shorts. This setup works best with pants that have some structure which resists the weight of the firearm.

As you progress, you’ll probably want to carry in more than just jeans and basic tops. Maybe that’s leggings, athletic clothes, or dresses. This is where you’ll need to adjust your setup a bit. The Comfort Concealment band is a good, inexpensive option since it works without a belt, making it great for leggings and a lot of athletic wear. It can also work with dresses if they’re loose and flowy enough. Belly bands are another solid beltless option. They’re a bit thicker and can work with a traditional or velcro holster. They do run hotter, which may not be ideal for summer, but they’re still a good option and a number of companies offer them.

Another simple way to improve your setup is adding a wing and/or a wedge. A wing pushes the firearm grip into your body, horizontally. A wedge attaches to your holster and helps push parts of the firearm into your body, vertically. They can work independently or together to help fine tune your comfort and concealment. These tools may not work with all outfits, like jeans where they can actually add bulk, but they can certainly help with looser bottoms, tighter tops, or with dresses.

Another option is the Phlster Enigma, I use the Enigma Express almost daily - the latest version has an MSRP of $154.00. It is an investment and has a bigger learning curve, but it has allowed me to keep my style while feeling confident in my concealment. It’s a system that can be finetuned to your body and give you some of the best concealment in all styles of clothing.

Lastly, there are clothes out there specifically designed for concealment. While they may help with concealment, they aren't required. If you go this route, make sure you still have a safe holster compatible with the clothes. Many of these garments have just added pockets intended for a firearm, but these pockets often don’t protect the trigger. Safety is key when looking at these clothes. Make sure they come with a way to use a holster or that they include a trigger guard.

The most important thing to remember is you don’t have to change your style or buy bigger clothes. Start simple, take small steps, and figure out what works best for you. Embrace the journey and don’t be afraid of trial and error.

Concealed Carry Corner: Clothes Made for Carrying

The First 30 Days (Where It Starts to Click)

Congratulations! You’re ready to start carrying, and the first 30 days is where you really build safe, proper habits.

Dry fire, a lot, to get comfortable drawing from your setup(s) and continue building your skills. Also practice safely reholstering your firearm, as this is where a lot of people flag themselves or someone else. Once you are comfortable with both, start practicing from concealment. Make sure your firearm is completely unloaded. Put your ammo in a separate room and always point your firearm in a safe direction when dry firing.

You can start carrying around your house, unloaded, until you feel safe and confident enough to carry loaded. This helps you get used to the weight and feel of the firearm and find positions that work for you. It also means less fidgeting and adjusting when you’re out in public, and can help reduce anxiety around printing.

Finally, get some live training in with your concealment setup. Live training is just as important as dry fire, especially when working from concealment. Practice your draw, get used to the feel of your firearm, and spend time wearing your setup in a more public setting.

The key word here is training. Use these first 30 days to really focus on building confidence and consistency. This process was critical for me. It resulted in me having less concern about printing than I expected and I felt confident in my ability to safely carry and fire from concealment.

Common Beginner Mistakes (And How to Fix Them Quickly)

With all of the excitement and advice out there, let’s review some basic fundamentals and common mistakes to avoid when starting your concealment journey:

• Carrying without a holster/proper holster: Remember to ALWAYS use a safe holster that fully covers the trigger and not to just throw your firearm in a bag or pocket. Avoid cheap and soft holsters that allow unwanted trigger manipulation.
• Buying without trial and research: Don’t buy a firearm or gear just because someone said to, or because it looks cool. Take the time to research and find the gear that works well specifically for you.
• Forgetting to train: Be sure to train dry and live with your firearm and your carry set-up. Training builds the skills and proficiency necessary for success and safety.
• Getting frustrated with printing anxiety: Printing anxiety is normal - and it takes time to feel confident in your concealment! Breathe, look at your style, and realize that you can do this.

Conclusion: Starting Is the Hard Part — Staying Consistent Is the Goal

Carrying feels awkward at first - for everyone. It’s a journey that forces us out of our comfort zone and makes us really think about the responsibility we are taking on. Remember, confidence comes from training, repetition, and belief in yourself and your set-up. Start simple, and adjust over time as you go. Learn and practice, and don’t be afraid to try different setups.

You’re making an awesome step in your right to defend yourself. Be confident and trust yourself and your abilities. I wish you success in your concealment journey!